Posts Tagged ‘search engines humor heart attack’

THE VALUE OF SEARCH ENGINES or How I found out I was having a heart attack.

July 10, 2009

One can peruse millions of bits of info, conveniently, using search engines on the world wide web. Search engines were created because we’re lazy. Who wants to go from website to website, entering url info each time, getting typer’s cramp when we can go to one convenient source and point and click. Search engines have been likened to the yellow pages by Lee Underwood. Well, maybe the yellow pages on steroids. Web robots were created to wander the web to count web servers. These became known as web crawlers or spiders. According to Mr. Underwood these robots indexed the web info in a systematic way so that users could find what they were looking for. Investors saw a way to make money and Search Engines were born.  The idea is to refine your search so that you have only about 30,000 choices rather than 2 million.

Early Webmaster

Early Web Robot

The following tale recounts my first reliance on search engines to gain needed information.

One Saturday in October 1999, I awoke at 4:30 AM with a heavy pressure in my chest. As I tossed and twisted in bed to relieve the ache, I thought that this pain is not easing. Naturally, I arose and went to the bathroom to relieve myself. That didn’t end the pain, even after I put the seat down.

Being well read, I thought “hmm” maybe there is something wrong. What could it be? Just then my skin became clammy, I broke out in a cold sweat, and I felt faint. Very uncomfortable. Say, maybe this is a heart attack.

Time to spring into action. I turned on our computer. My wife is peacefully sleeping, no need to bother her, I have technology. I entered heart attack in the search box.

Clicking on a likely site, up popped a drawing of a human figure. Actually, it looked like one of those police outlines at a crime scene, not a promising beginning. Several points on this outline were highlighted with a description of heart attack symptoms. The chest was one such area. “ A crushing, heavy pressure” was the description. Yep, that’s me. In the attached notes were the symptoms, clammy skin, cold sweat, light headedness. Me, me, and me!

Its 6:30AM, time to wake Mrs. Taylor. I shook her saying, “Mary Anne”, “What?!”, “I think I am having a heart attack.” She rolled over, “What time is it?” “Its 6:30” She then said, “Come on, this no time to be kidding around.” I said “I’m not kidding!”

Mrs. Taylor jumped out of bed, overcoming her natural skepticism of my announcement, and called 911. The Barnard Fire Department Rescue Squad did a fine job of saving me and took me to the hospital. While in the hospital, my wife suggested I have a brain scan, but I declined, knowing the probable outcome.

Luckily it was a mild heart attack and there was no damage to my heart.

Search engines work!

Check out this link for more info on search engine history,